M and I our "first time dating" freshman year. |
1. February 14,
2005—A serious discussion with a pre-theologate (not really a seminarian, I
promise... he was just in the “discernment program”)
Freshman year at Franciscan University of Steubenville was a
rough year emotionally. I happened to have a massive crush on a guy in the
pre-theologate program, and the thing is, he was acting as if he had a crush on
me. You know, hanging out together all the time (we were in the same group of
friends), singling each other out for discussion, walking a friend back to her
dorm across campus together so we could walk back to our adjacent dorms alone,
on movie nights sitting right next to each other on the same couch, and there
may have been some flirting.
Well it all came to ahead right around St. Valentine’s day
(or Sts. Cyril and Methodius Day for those of you who prefer the new calendar).
I was confused: was this guy really discerning the priesthood or did he like
me? He was less confused about my affection and more confused about his
discernment. I confided in a few good friends, including a wonderful couple who
let me interrupt their date night in a common room to get advice. They advised
me to talk to him and tell him that he was confusing me.
I called him up, and asked to go for a walk because “we needed to talk.” My plan was to tell him that I was attracted to him and to ask him to give me some space, so that I could get over him and he could go on discerning the priesthood. We met up on a rainy courtyard clad in rain jackets (what a mild February that must have been!). I dove right into my problem. “I am attracted to you,” I confessed to him. “Um, well, I am attracted to you,” he replied, and then we paused. What were we supposed to do? Well, I decided to tell him the entirety of my past crushes and involvements with boys; I am not really sure why. I think I wanted to let him know that I really needed him to be straight forward with me. By the end of our discussion we decided that we needed to put serious limits on our interaction since we had become way to close to be “just friends.”
That worked for one emotionally painful week, and then I guess he had had enough. He met with his formation director, told all, and then left the program. He was free to date. The next day he asked me out. There is a lot more that happened after that, but eventually we got married, well three years later, which seems like a long time when you are only 18. I will tell the rest of the relationship history another time.
I called him up, and asked to go for a walk because “we needed to talk.” My plan was to tell him that I was attracted to him and to ask him to give me some space, so that I could get over him and he could go on discerning the priesthood. We met up on a rainy courtyard clad in rain jackets (what a mild February that must have been!). I dove right into my problem. “I am attracted to you,” I confessed to him. “Um, well, I am attracted to you,” he replied, and then we paused. What were we supposed to do? Well, I decided to tell him the entirety of my past crushes and involvements with boys; I am not really sure why. I think I wanted to let him know that I really needed him to be straight forward with me. By the end of our discussion we decided that we needed to put serious limits on our interaction since we had become way to close to be “just friends.”
That worked for one emotionally painful week, and then I guess he had had enough. He met with his formation director, told all, and then left the program. He was free to date. The next day he asked me out. There is a lot more that happened after that, but eventually we got married, well three years later, which seems like a long time when you are only 18. I will tell the rest of the relationship history another time.
8 months pregnant with our first. I was showing more than he was. |
2. February 14, 2009—Star Trek marathon.
I was 8 months pregnant with our first, and we were 8 months
into our marriage. We decided that St. Valentine’s day was the last night of
our youth since we were going to be taking care of our baby in a month. We went
out to dinner (I can’t remember where), and then went to the best grocery store
on the face of the earth, Wegmans, bought some snacks or something, and took
turns riding the cart in the parking lot. Yep, I rode a cart at 8 months
pregnant; I was empowered by Bradley birthing classes. Then we went over to
Blockbuster and rented three of the original Star Trek movies. We then
proceeded to watch them one after another, eating food, and wondering if the
baby was a boy because the baby sure liked all the sound effects. (She was a
girl, or course.)
I think this was my favorite St. Valentine’s day. We spent the first year or so of G’s life watching Star Trek Voyager, and then went through all the other Star Trek shows. We are pretty nerdly.
I think this was my favorite St. Valentine’s day. We spent the first year or so of G’s life watching Star Trek Voyager, and then went through all the other Star Trek shows. We are pretty nerdly.
My Valentines dates in 2012. |
3. February 14, 2012—Me
and my daiquri.
The winter of 2012 was one of the most stressful of our
relationship. M was “on the job market,” and we were in a continual state of
anxiety waiting for calls or emails about job interviews. February is the
normal month for on campus interviews, and boy M had a lot of them (for which
we were very blessed). It seemed like every couple of days he was called out to
another interview. I think he was gone for two full weeks of that month.
Well on St. Valentine’s Day, while M was at an awkward job interview dinner with two potential colleagues (not for the position he ultimately accepted) at a restaurant full of couples out on dates, I was hundreds of miles away, at home, having a romantic dinner of what was probably scrambled eggs with a not yet three year old and a one year old. After I put them to bed, I read one of C.S. Forester’s Horatio Hornblower novels and drank a daiquiri (I got pretty good at making daiquiris that month).
Well on St. Valentine’s Day, while M was at an awkward job interview dinner with two potential colleagues (not for the position he ultimately accepted) at a restaurant full of couples out on dates, I was hundreds of miles away, at home, having a romantic dinner of what was probably scrambled eggs with a not yet three year old and a one year old. After I put them to bed, I read one of C.S. Forester’s Horatio Hornblower novels and drank a daiquiri (I got pretty good at making daiquiris that month).
After M got back to his hotel and called me up to recap the
dinner, he informed me that he had been offered two more interviews. I just
about cried, as I was at my wits end with the single parenting stuff, and I am
pretty sure my mom friends were tired of me spending half the days at their
houses. I made emergency calls to my parents and in-laws begging someone to
come stay with me for the last interview. My wonderful mother-in-law took pity
on me, and I rewarded her with our traditional Mardi Gras dinner of strawberry
filled crepes, ice cream, and bacon.
Much to our relief, M received a job offer on February 17, when he was back home, so even though he was going to be gone for a few more interviews, we had the relief of knowing he would have a job.
Much to our relief, M received a job offer on February 17, when he was back home, so even though he was going to be gone for a few more interviews, we had the relief of knowing he would have a job.
______
And that is it. The rest of the St. Valentine’s days of our relationship probably involve either dinner at some restaurant or staying home with the kids. I can’t really recall.
And that is it. The rest of the St. Valentine’s days of our relationship probably involve either dinner at some restaurant or staying home with the kids. I can’t really recall.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.