I like to read blogs. I started reading a blog by a mom with two young children about a year ago, and recently realized that her blog was about a three yer old and a six year old. I was relating to her because she had a nursing child and a non-nursing child; suddenly her kids were older and her life did not seem so similar to mine. And then she started sharing from other parent blogs on her blog and the secular view of children and parenting started to really bother me. There is something really, truly negative in a lot of the secular/non-Christian parenting blogs that I can't quiet pinpoint and describe. It is also present in the parenting magazines, which I peruse in doctors' waiting rooms. I found that when I read these things, I am more selfish mother, annoyed at my children, and wishing things were different. Which is not what I am called to as a mother or a wife.
On a side note: I know a lot of my feelings about being a mother lately are coming from being very pregnant, living in a new city where I have not had enough time to develop solid friendships (though I have hopes for many great friends since I have met so many wonderful women so far!), and missing the great friends I have in Buffalo.
However, as I have been reading mom blogs of home schooling (or normal schooling) Catholic moms who have more children than I have, I have found a sort of support system, that will not replace the real life one I am developing here in St. Paul, but will encourage me to press on in my call to motherhood and wife hood.
I realize that my days of cultural normalcy are limited, and that I have been enjoying them perhaps a bit too much, when someone asks G if she is going to be going to pre-school and she tells them very openly that she is home schooled. I know once baby number four starts to make an appearance (be it God's will that our family continues to grow) in a couple of years, I may not get as many friendly comments from strangers. Even now, three is not as normal as two. Also, my kids are "really close together." Ha! I am looking forward to the days that G and L are the teenage older sisters with the baby brother or sister on their lap and I take care of the baby for feeding and changing (like a family we met this past weekend at M's cousin's Confirmation party). I am finding I love talking to the moms of 8+ who have been where I am and are fully aware that since I am 26 and having my third child will be where they are in about 10 years or so. To them my life makes sense and they know what it is like, but they are realistic, seasoned mothers who know that it is all for good and really love their children. They inspire me and have great advice to give. And a young mother needs that support from older mothers. A young mother also needs support from other like-minded young mothers.
And it really is love that it all comes down to. Loving God. Loving myself as God sees and knows me. Loving my husband. Loving my children. Loving my other family and friends. May God help me to always love, and to trust Him in all things. Then I know I will be truly happy and have a happy family.
I don't really follow many blogs anymore, other than the ones friends post on facebook, but I do find that I am able to connect with other moms on facebook who are in a similar place as I am: Catholic, young children, young marriage, perhaps still struggling to make ends meet, etc. And more often than not, these are moms that I vaguely knew in college, but who I have connected with since then because we are now in a similar place. It's nice to have those friendships!
ReplyDeleteI do love the mom-network of Franciscan graduates we have on facebook. I feel like I know you all better than I did in college. :)
DeleteYes. For all the negatives that come with social networking, there are some very very important benefits. For me as a stay at home mom, blogging has provided a support network that while maybe not as good as real personal interaction, is very helpful for me in a time when it's just not possible to get that real personal interaction as much as I would like. As I get older I'm realizing how important fellowship with other women is, especially with women who have the same vocation and worldview. And don't worry about enjoying being "normal" for a while. It'll end soon enough ;)
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