That is what I have resorted to: parenting that is S-L-O-P-P-Y. A really funny looking word. I woke up last night to the baby crying in my arms and trying to roll over. I was sitting in my rocking chair. It was 2:46am. I had gotten out of bed to nurse her at 1:48am. This was definitely a first. This is what I gloated about not having to do when we were co-sleeping. But after 3 months of that we all stopped sleeping and we moved her to a bassinet and now pack-n-play; I get to sleep in whatever position I want now, when I get to sleep. I wonder how many parents get to this point and wonder what the heck they are doing wrong; but I have tried different sleep solutions and I think it is just a matter of time (and getting over this annoying cold). I guess the only answer is to drink a little more coffee and go to bed at 10pm instead of 11pm.
The thing is this sloppy parenting is not just a nighttime phenomenon, it has creeped into the daytime parenting as well. To the point that I put the toddler in her room until lunch after she put her feet on the baby's head; yesterday she poked the baby's eyes with her toes and got a long timeout in her crib. The sloppy parenting can be seen in the sloppy living room, and my inability to put on cute clothes this morning (something I try to do everyday to keep myself feeling like a real person).
Though I suppose the haze I live in right now will become easier and possibly clear up once we no longer have this cold. Maybe the children will sleep well again; maybe I will get the baby to go back to sleep this afternoon and she will sleep better tonight.
I am just reminding myself that in order to have disciplined, well-behaved children I need to hold myself to an even higher standard. It is time for me to get over my lack of sleep, stop my sloppy parenting and have a stronger will than that of my children who do not know what is best for them; and lovingly and gently encourage their sleep and good behavior and stay firm in my resolution. Why do Lenten resolutions so often turn into Easter laziness?
And the toddler slept all night last night without wetting her diaper and the baby (after the first initial hour of resettling often) only nursed twice! So things might be getting better at night.
ReplyDeleteI love you dear, sometimes sloppy, often beautifully ordered and disciplined, daughter. So, true about lenten resolutions and Easter laziness. My early rising and earlier to bed quickly fell back and hour, without even the end of daylight savings time. Keep writing! You have a gift.
ReplyDeleteThis too shall pass...I experienced this too after the arrival of Child #2, and will expect that it will happen again after every new baby. Everything that was, is now different, and it takes a while to figure out how to best juggle the new dynamics. You will again achieve a sense of order and normalcy!
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