That is what I have resorted to: parenting that is S-L-O-P-P-Y. A really funny looking word. I woke up last night to the baby crying in my arms and trying to roll over. I was sitting in my rocking chair. It was 2:46am. I had gotten out of bed to nurse her at 1:48am. This was definitely a first. This is what I gloated about not having to do when we were co-sleeping. But after 3 months of that we all stopped sleeping and we moved her to a bassinet and now pack-n-play; I get to sleep in whatever position I want now, when I get to sleep. I wonder how many parents get to this point and wonder what the heck they are doing wrong; but I have tried different sleep solutions and I think it is just a matter of time (and getting over this annoying cold). I guess the only answer is to drink a little more coffee and go to bed at 10pm instead of 11pm.
The thing is this sloppy parenting is not just a nighttime phenomenon, it has creeped into the daytime parenting as well. To the point that I put the toddler in her room until lunch after she put her feet on the baby's head; yesterday she poked the baby's eyes with her toes and got a long timeout in her crib. The sloppy parenting can be seen in the sloppy living room, and my inability to put on cute clothes this morning (something I try to do everyday to keep myself feeling like a real person).
Though I suppose the haze I live in right now will become easier and possibly clear up once we no longer have this cold. Maybe the children will sleep well again; maybe I will get the baby to go back to sleep this afternoon and she will sleep better tonight.
I am just reminding myself that in order to have disciplined, well-behaved children I need to hold myself to an even higher standard. It is time for me to get over my lack of sleep, stop my sloppy parenting and have a stronger will than that of my children who do not know what is best for them; and lovingly and gently encourage their sleep and good behavior and stay firm in my resolution. Why do Lenten resolutions so often turn into Easter laziness?
Confessions of a Catholic Mom and Philosopher's Wife